FINAL BLOG

            Using blogs instead of journals can only benefit a person depending on who that person is. Some people may think putting their writing on a blogger site is embarrassing to know that there are other people reading and judging what you are publishing.  Then there are other people who look at putting their writing online for everybody to read as an opportunity to get better at writing. I put myself in this category this is the type of person I am. Putting my blogs online instead of in a journal is a good way for me to get feedback on what I’m writing about.

As for writing in my journal the only way someone will actually look at my writing and tell me weather I should or shouldn’t do something is when I take it to someone to read and put their two senses in. I noticed from when I first started my blogs till now there is a major difference in the way I write. This is mostly because I learn from each essay or blog I do. Also I learn off of the feedback my classmates and other people give to me online. This semester if you actually read my blogs you will be able to see with each blog that I complete my writing approve a little more. What also was a big help with the improvement of my writing skills was being able to read other peoples writings online. Being able to read other people’s blogs helped me see how they would build an essay and the skills and tactics they would use paved away for me and my essay.

I always felt that I was a strong writer who had the write ideas and knew how to come at an essay the write way. With that being said if I’m a strong writer I also know what I’m weak at. One of the issues I have the most when I write is spelling. My spelling is alright but it’s not where I want it to be. With me knowing this you would think I would carry a dictionary with me to school every day but I don’t. This is something that I notice when I receive my papers back from my professors. There are always little spelling corrections on my papers.          

What I learned this semester is how to make a good introduction and how to develop my body paragraphs more. My intro I learned how to draw the attention of my reader, how to find the main idea and how to make everything connect. My body paragraphs were always good but there was still room for improvement. I learn how to add more important details’ and how to take the unimportant things out. These are all tools that I will hope to bring with me to eng 101 next semesters.

Revision of CATW exam, Practice 3

If you ever felt depressed or you wanted to get excited before your big game then you know that music will always put you in the place you want to be. Adapted from “How and why is music a good tool for health?” by Elizabeth Scott this article states that “research has shown that music has a profound effect on your body and mind. I fill that I’m not the only person who would strongly agree with the point “music can bring lasting effects to your body and mind”.

        I seen on TV that music therapy can help bring down high blood pressure, and known to help with sleeping disorders. Although it wasn’t said that music therapy can cure diseases but it is known to help with other problems with the body. Music therapy helps the healing process of the body and for some patients it helps improve their way of life. Although music therapy can not cure cancer but it is known to help reduce pain.

My grandma servers from a numerous amount of problems with her body. So she’s often in pain. Whenever my family and I go to visit her I notice that her tape player is always near her.  Besides when her family is with her I believe the happiest she is, is when she is listening to her music.  After reading this article “How and why is music a good tool for health?”  it only has me wondering is the reason why my grandmother is at her happiest only when she is listen to her music only because her body is in less pain? It could be the music is unconsciously aiding the healing of her body.

Music would always put you in the right state of mind there is a song for almost every situation. Soon music will be the new therapy. Music has many benefits besides listing to your favorite song. From help cancer patients, children with attention disorder and can even bring you out of depression it can also keep your anxiety down.

Blog 6: Personal Directions for The CATW

     

        The day of the test or any test you must make sure you read the instructions that are usually above the passage I would use my pencil to guide the instructions so you can understand better. Read the passage 3 times then skim through the passage the 4th time. The first two times is for you to read and understand what the passage is talking about and for you to understand everything the passage is saying. The third time reading the passage is for you to underline the main idea, and supporting details. The last time you just want to skim through the passage to see if there are any supporting details you may forgot. After doing this take a min or two to do some free writing just so you can get some ideas in your head about the topic.

          Now when writing your essay it must consist or four or more paragraph. Make sure you start off with a great introduction that draws the attention of the reader (this is very important).  The intro must have an opening sentences follow by the main idea of the passage then the source of the passage and the author of the article. Then whether you agree or disagree with one of the points made in the passages (make sure the point that you agree/disagree with is exactly as it is written in the passage in exhumation marks).  When starting your body paragraphs you must explain why you agree with the point made. This is usually done by using an example that supports what you agree/disagree with. Use one example per body paragraph and you must have supporting details. In your examples you will be looked at weather the example you used is a good example and backs up your decision and is it believable. It is better if your example came from a source like an article you have read but if not you can always make up an example   but it has to be believable. Your supporting detail can come from personal experience Last you want to end your essay as strong as you started your essay. You want to use a good opening and state dis is why you strongly agree/disagree with the point you stated.

          Once you are done you must read your own essay the same amount of times as you read the article. This is because you make a lot of spelling and grammar errors when you write. So you want to make sure you go over each line of your essay. Everybody makes mistakes with spelling but you make mistakes on words that are already in the passage and the test readers can fail you just off that. So read through your essay 4 to 5 times. Also your developments of your paragraphs are okay but they can always be better.  Put only details that will support you. You will lose points if you put unnecessary details in your body paragraphs so make sure this does not happened. Use examples from articles if you can or personal experience and make up examples if and only if you cannot use other examples. Stay more focus on the task and do not let your mind drift off stay awake.

          Because you make a huge amount of spelling errors bring a dictionary with you the day of the test this will help you spell words you forgot to spell and it will help you use words that you want to use. Use more transition words this will help to improve the development of your essay and it makes your essay sound good. The day before the test make sure you get plenty of rest so you won’t be tired when taking the test. Eat breakfast the day of the test as well so it will keep your mind going.

CATW PRACTICE 3

If you ever felt depressed or you wanted to get excited before your big game then you know that music will always put you in the place you want to be. Adapted from “How and why is music a good tool for health?” by Elizabeth Scott this article states that “research has shown that music has a profound effect on your body and mind. I fill that I’m not the only person who would strongly agree with the point “music can bring lasting effects to your body and mind”.

            March 5^th of 2011 I was shot in my neck coming from a friends sweet 16^th birthday party. this was just days away from starting my second semester of college .I was rushed to the trauma clinic at Jacobi hospital was lucky enough to still be alive, and in was told by almost every doctor that I seen that not everybody lives off a shot to the neck like I did. I just couldn’t stop replaying that night and what happened to me in my head. This made it hard for me to sleep. Even with my family and friends by my side I couldn’t help being scared and depressed. I was never told by my doctors about music therapy but when I was released from the hospital all I wanted to do was shut out the world and music helped me do this. My music is probably the only reason why I’m not stressed out and fill sad. Music is what brought me out of my depression and kept me with a positive state of mind.

            I am a manager at a small company at Yankee stadium. One of my main jobs there is to make cotton candy. It takes a few hours for me to make cotton candy since I’m making it for the whole stadium so I’m allowed to listen to my iPod while I’m doing so. I have a specific playlist which only contains fast song. This is because I notice the faster and exciting the song is the faster I finish the bored of cotton candy. Before I knew this I would always ask myself how come I finish some boards of cotton candy faster than others. Until it hit me the faster the song the more concentrated I was the slower the song the more mellow and calm I would be.

                        Music would always put you in the right state of mind there is a song for almost every situation. Soon music will be the new therapy. Music has many benefits besides listing to your favorite song. From help cancer patients, children with attention disorder and can even bring you out of depression it can also keep your anxiety down.

Blog # 5

This movie had a lot of different point of views. Everybody thought they  knew what was best for the little girl Amanda and wanted to help. Police Captain, Remy, and Lionel believe in Consequentialism. They felt that stealing the little girl and giving her a better life was the right thing to do in their eyes .Police captain Remy and Lionel wanted to do the right thing but their hearts wasn’t in the right place, their priorities wrongs. Captain Remy wanted the little girl because he lost his daughter to kidnapping and sought to give the little girl a better life. When Patrick went to the captains house to confront him the captain try’s to tell him if you see or knows what he knows from years of working on the force then he would understand why he is doing what he is doing. He wanted to spread happiness and relieve suffering this is why he believes in consequentialism. Lionel was in it for the money at first  but when things didn’t go his way the plan changed. He wanted to keep everything a secret but slipped up once he told Patrick that he knew Amanda’s uncle.

                                Patrick and Angie also have different looks on the situation. Patrick believed in morality                that you must respect law; follow your duty, to do the right thing, and to not go against god. This is why when he shot the child molester in the back of his head he felt guilty and shameful. He said “if you fill ashamed that’s just god way of saying you did something wrong”. Furthermore this is the reason he gave back Amanda to her mother. Angie felt the same way as captain Remy and Lionel did but without the conspiracy. She wanted Patrick to just forget about it and act like he did not know the captain had Amanda. She also gave him an ultimatum which was she would not stay with him if he called the cops. She knew that Amanda would have a better life if she would have stayed with the captain and his family instead of her mother (which did drugs).  

                I felt that this movie didn’t really take any sides it just showed the viewers that doing the right thing is always the answer but how do we know what the right thing is. Patrick knew that calling the cops to pick up Amanda was his duty. But at the end of the movie when he is in Amanda’s mother’s house you begin to wonder is he now questioning his actions. He knew giving this little girl back to her mother was the right thing to do but was it the best thing to do in the long wrong. Captain Remy and Lionel were doing the wrong things for a good reason.  Everybody thought they was doing the right thing but how would they know what’s the right thing for sure?

CATW PRACTICE 2

                 To die in the waiting room of a hospital is bad. To die in the waiting room of an hospital while staff and security walk right pass you for over a hour while your dieing has to be worst. From the article "The woman who died in the waiting room" by Jeneen Interlandi it shows you how public hospitals across the country have struggled to provide acute psychiatric care to the poor and uninsured since the early 1960s. Knowing whats in this article is painful. This is why i strongly agree with a point that was made in this passage " the mentally ill should be offered a place in society".
                My grandmother just turned 83 and has been living in different nursing home for the past year and a half now. My grandmother has numerous amount of problems with her that range from blood clots in her legs to having Alzheimer's and not every hospital or nursing home can provide the care that she needs. Alot of nursing homes do not take her type of insurance or if they did they no longer do and had to change nursing homes.  This was a big issue for my family and i because she had no place to go besides with her family (which was not properly trained to deal with her situation). This made things much more difficult for my family.
         I seen many videos over the Internet or even in school where psychiatric patients are being abused, mistreated , or not being attended to. My senior year in high school my history class was shown a video where the mentally ill was being mistreated and abused. This video took place in a hospital for the mentally ill on Staten island where a camera crew snuck their way into the hospital where they recorded the staff pushing the patients on the floor and beating them. Even in one scene they shower the staff stacking the mentally ill patients on top of one another. This hospital was soon shut down once the video aired on TV.
                 Ti is absurd to believe that there is no place for the mentally ill to go. What the problem might be is the lack of phychiatric care. Many patients suffer from chronic conditions and are neglected from the day to day counseling or medication they need. Furthermore until someone puts a stop to not providing the proper attention that these people need the abuse and neglected will continue on and be over looked

REVISION OF CATW1

          How would you fill if you had to pay more for colleges-universities if you are an immigrant who is living in the u.s international (who pay taxes) compared to people who are living in the u.s illegally. Isn't that being rewarded for doing wrong? From an excerpted from "An Education in Citizenship" Chicago tribune Illinois house recently passed a bill that allows young people in the u.s illegally to pay in-state tuition rates at Illinois colleges and universities . I do not speak for myself when i say everything that the government is doing should go by the law which to me should define people citizenship's and rights. If the government is not going to go by its own immigration laws maybe their laws should change. But until that day comes no law should not be over looked at anytime. This article makes a point that i agree strongly with "This nation sorely needs to reform its complex, often-unenforced immigration laws. But until that day comes, it cannot blithely ignore those laws".
            If the government doesn't follow its own laws (the structure that this country was made on) why should we as the people of the u.s follow the laws that is given to us. No law should just be tossed aside an over looked at anytime. I was told in Phoenix's Arizona cops are able to stop any pedestrian and ask them for their green card or documentaion to prove that they are legal residents there. furthermore if this is happending in arizona why aren't they doing this though out the rest of the u.s. Why wasn't a law passed for cops to do this everywhere but instead a law was passed to allow illegal immigrants to go to school free. It is more reasonable to be in the contry legally and Illinois senators have not consider this.
        The in-state and out-state tuition gap in Illinois is absurd. Students who wish to go to colleges or universities in Illinois who are not from the state or Illinois must pay a tuition rate of $13,906. As for people who are residents of Illinois only pay a fee of $5,302. As you can see the gap between tuitions is unreasonable .I am a student at lagudia community college in longisland city queens who planes to go away to suny delhi next semester.After reading about the tuition diffrence between in-state and out-state tuition fees in Illinois im wondering is it like that with every college or universitie and if it is how is that going to effect me and my education.
             The facts and opinons that i stated support my point of veiw that if the government is not going to follow the rules then why should we the citizens of the u.s follow the rules that are layed out for us. No one should be taken away from a education.When you are doing something wrong you should not be rewarded for it. Walking over immigration laws or any law in genareal would not be a wise move to make. These laws should be taken with a more fouceful approch. Tuition rates weather in-state or out-state should be equal or fair for everybody. No one should be deprived from a good education.